A day of reflection.....

Today 5 years ago my little nephew was born.... he should have been full of excitement and heading off to school today with a brand new backpack and lunchbox. But instead - due to medical misadventure during his delivery - he passed away after being on life support for 3 days.
I cannot believe that 5 years have gone by and yet I still feel so sad about it. Such a tragic loss and makes me still very,very angry.
Not a drop in the ocean are my feelings compared to those of this little man's parents but it still astounds me how lives can be irrevocably changed in a matter of hours.
I had recently turned 30 when he died and had been wanting to gave up smoking for quite some time. I was very slim back then (around 63kgs) having lost about 24 kgs I had put on while preg with my oldest son.
I lost that weight mainly due to being very, very busy with my business and substituting food for cigarettes and coffee, I used to run around the netball court back then too.....
I have crap willpower (no? really!! haha) and needed a good reason to give up smoking so I knew that if I swore on my little nephew's name that I wouldn't have another cigarette then I would remain true to it.
I never have had another cigarette - every time I felt like one I would think of him and wish we could have him back - maybe that is why I am 20 kgs overweight lol.
I remain convinced that smoking is the best dieting tool ever!! and before I get slammed for it, I never said the healthiest, smartest or recommended option lol - just that it certainly worked for me.
We usually let off helium balloons today to say g'day to our wee man and of course sky rockets etc. So bloody sad and so wrong.

And then to cap off an already sad day, my Dad has just emailed me a copy of a letter he has sent to my Aunt in Athens who has breast cancer and is in hospital having more chemotherapy. She has already had a double mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy a few years back so this is a shock to hear that her cancer has returned. I wonder what her prognosis will now be...
We thought she had it beat.
Very hard as she is isolated in Greece and although she has a great network of friends her husband (a Greek) passed away many years ago and she is not close to her only son. I wish we weren't so far away :-(
On a brighter note, had a great workout at the gym this morning... can definately feel it this afternoon so it must be working right?? Espaecially that little bit of skin between the top of my boob and my armpit - you know where your bra strap comes down?? yeah - that hurts. Which is good!!